No two Thursdays are ever the same at The École. Foie gras and a laid-back vibe last week for the inauguration of 115; pizza and a myriad of costumes last night for the middle schoolers’ first dance of the year (I’m not sharing which evening I enjoyed the most!) Despite their apparent differences, I noticed an obvious similarity between the two events: the desire to come together and have fun. Whether it’s with a glass of champagne or a glass of soda in hand, you can feel the same bond between children as you do between grown-ups, the same wish to spend time with each other, to create connections and memories. Friendship was the overarching theme of both celebrations.
We recently discussed the concept of friendship in the Introduction to Philosophy elective that I teach in Middle School. A concept so difficult to define that it inspired Montaigne’s famous words about his friend La Boétie: “because it was him, because it was me.” It’s also a subject that resonates deeply with teenagers, as it represents a time in their lives when their friends’ influence is of the utmost importance and sometimes clashes with their parents’ advice. It was fascinating to see how my small group of students approached the topic, from the impossibility of social animals like us living alone to the challenges we can experience living with others. Even if children are not fully aware of the moral concepts set forth by philosophers, they still have an intuitive understanding of what’s at stake. Friendships can seem random; they can bring two seemingly different people together; they can fluctuate because they are demanding and based on trust; or they can be bound by interest, which is exactly what Aristotle tells us when he contrasts friendships of utility and virtuous friendships. (Aristotle also has a crucial message for teenagers – above all, friendship should make you a better person, and it should never be something you struggle through, or make you feel small.)
When I first discovered The École, I was struck by the notion of “a village within the busy metropolis of New York City” mentioned on the promo video on the website. To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it-such phrases can suggest an inward-looking, exclusive attitude. Thankfully, I see the exact opposite in action every day at The École: a close-knit community that definitely takes care of each other, but also remains open to others and knows how to welcome them. It’s what I have felt from my first day here, and it’s what I strive to pass on every day to all of the adults and students of The Ecole.
Hannah Arendt, who goes beyond purely moral questions to the realm of the political, tells us that friendship is “the desire to share the world with others.” She defines friendship as an experience that creates a space for dialogue that teaches us to see the world through someone else’s eyes. In that respect, The École is a kind of friendship: a place that is hard to define but where, especially during a great party, each of us can become a bit better every day.