Since there was no high school in the village in L’Ardèche where I grew up, I headed off to boarding school—50km from home—when I was 15. My father had the unenviable task of dragging me out of bed every Monday morning at 5 a.m. and driving me to the village square, where the school bus waited (with, incredibly, everyone smoking on board). I came home every Friday evening to spend the weekend with my family. When you arrive at a boarding school with 80 boys aged between 15 and 18, you learn pretty quickly that there is a whole set of unwritten rules you need to follow if you want to make your life easier.
The most difficult moments were mealtimes. The youngest students—the 10th graders, including me—didn’t have assigned tables in the large dining hall. We had to ask the older boys if it was okay to take an unoccupied seat at their table, and then, upon receiving no response, try to slip onto it as discreetly as possible. Depending on the day and who we ended up sitting next to, we were allowed to eat normally, a little, or not at all. There was even a dedicated verb for this treatment: tiger. « Aujourd’hui, tu tiges »—today, you go hungry.
Rest assured, these little humiliations didn’t last long, and anyone who went hungry could always get extra helpings of baguette and jam. Later, when my friends and I became the oldest boys in the boarding school, we decided to put an end to these ridiculous traditions. We also introduced other changes—thanks, I should add, to a new headmaster who was willing to listen—not only to stop teasing the younger students, but to actually welcome, comfort, and support them. Those early initiatives marked the beginning of my thinking about what a caring and supportive school environment could and should look like.
Forty years on, I remain just as committed to those ideas (and not just by wearing an orange sweater on Wednesday for Unity Day). While it goes without saying that The École is a wonderful place, that unfortunately doesn’t mean every interaction between students is always positive. We know that children sometimes go home hurt by a classmate’s attitude, gesture, or words. I wrote here about the important work we began last year with Emmanuelle Piquet to address these situations. We are now building on that by adopting the Shared Concern Method, which several of us have seen or used successfully in other schools. This approach aims to build empathy and encourage students to resolve these situations, with regular follow-up to ensure the behavior stops. A team of volunteers has been formed and is ready to support students going through difficult times.
Every day, we do our very best to foster a culture of respect and empathy throughout the school. As you’ve gathered, this has been close to my heart for a long time. And I know the same is true for everyone in our community. The care we show one another is one of our greatest strengths. At The École, nobody ever has to tiger—we had wonderful proof of that at yesterday’s potluck! A huge thank you to everyone who came and contributed such delicious dishes.